My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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