I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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