We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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