Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Quick, to the slutcave!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize