I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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