I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we're making bets on your personal life
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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