My brain says no but my pants say off.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
