she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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