i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
