I can tuck mytits in my pants
You can't special order awesome
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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