I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
