i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
