i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
