i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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