Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
