lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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