In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
