Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I didn't notice because vodka
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize