every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
