so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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