I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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