Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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