Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize