I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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