i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
