Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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