True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
