areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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