He had one of those small greek statue penises
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
