That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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