Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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