The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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