Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
