OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm way too hungover for life right now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize