My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
