i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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