why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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