He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We got so high we made milksteak
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
