you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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