i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
