someone threw a dead crab at me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
