If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
