I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
