My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
