Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
