you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
