I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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