I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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