Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
