Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
