EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
