I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
