would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
