oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Found your dick twin last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
