All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
