that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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