To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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